Chinese Weddings

Chinese Wedding Custom 4 - Using the Chinese Calendar to Select Auspicious Dates

2007-05-08T17:23:00.000-07:00

Such a dilemma!

You don't want to consult the temple medium or fortune teller for an auspicious wedding date. But you need to select one quickly to please your parents.

Perhaps you think it is too superstitious to believe a date will have any effect on your wedded bliss.

But your parents are not. They think it is most important that they select an auspicious date to ensure a successful marriage for you. They feel you are ungracious for objecting to their kind intentions.

How about using the chinese calendar to select an auspicious wedding date.

As a compromise, you can use the chinese calendar to select the auspicious dates.

Usually, the chinese calendar contains:
- top, showing the Gregorian month,
- body, showing the Gregorian date,
- middle, showing the chinese date and the day of the week, and
- bottom, showing the fengshui/chinese astrology information.

Basic terminology for chinese wedding events

(Note: To read the chinese characters below properly, make sure your browser's character encoding is set to auto detect for chinese/simplified chinese/traditional chinese characters.)

These are the terminology you need to know for finding the respective auspicious dates,
嫁娶 - for wedding day
结婚纳彩/采 - for the betrothal
安床 - for installing the bridal bed

Auspicious rating:
宜(yi) - good for
忌(Ji) - bad for / to avoid
吉(Ji) - auspicious timing
中(zhong)- neutral timing
凶(xiong)- fierce/ bad timing

Choosing the auspicious date

2 ways to go about it:
a) choose the Gregorian date, then check if it is auspicious, or
b) find all the auspicious chinese dates, then decide on the Gregorian dates within these.

To determine if the date is auspicious, read the sub-sections, titled 宜(yi) which list the favorable activities for the day, and 忌(Ji), activities to be avoided.

Locate the corresponding term for wedding event Wedding day 嫁娶, Betrothal 结婚纳彩/采 or install bridal bed 安床 under 宜 or 忌. If found under 宜, it's a good date for that event, if 忌, don't select that date. The date is neutral for that event if nothing is mentioned.

Important note:
Certain days are not favorable for all joyous events and are listed as "不宜诸吉事" under the 宜 section. For such an unfavorable day, the 忌 section will also list 吉事 meaning to avoid any joyous events.

Check the auspicious timing

Some people also want an auspicious timing for events such as fetching the bride and entering the groom's home. Check the auspicious rating under "今天时辰吉凶". The timings are listed as 吉 auspicious timing, 中 neutral timing and 凶fierce/ bad timing. Choose those that are 吉 or 中 and avoid timing listed as 凶.

The chinese timing are divided into 12 period, each 2 hours long. The chinese day commence at 11 pm the night before. These are the corresponding time:

子(zi) 11pm to 1 am
丑(chou) 1am to 3 am
寅(yin) 3am to 5 am
卯(mao) 5am to 7am
辰(chen) 7am to 9am
巳(si) 9am to 11am
午(wu) 11am to 1pm
未(wei) 1pm to 3pm
申(shen) 3pm to 5pm
酉(you) 5pm to 7pm
戌(xu) 7pm to 9pm
亥(hai) 9pm to 11pm

What about chinese horoscope?

The chinese horoscope that "clashes" on that date is listed with the age under a section titled 每日相煞. Under 生年相冲 the other years of the same horoscope that also "clashes" is listed.

_________________________________________________________________

Jina Boo is the editor of http://www.chinese-wedding-guide.com , a website dedicated to preserving chinese wedding customs and culture. The website features:
- significance of chinese wedding customs and traditions,
- the items and persons needed to perform them, and
- suggested timeframe for preparation of chinese wedding.

A guide for drafting your own chinese wedding invitation and addressing the envelopes is also included.

Click here to learn more about selecting an auspicious date with a chinese calendar.

Chinese Wedding Custom 3- Wedding Tea Ceremony

2007-05-08T17:22:00.000-07:00

Wedding Tea Ceremony 敬茶

The tea ceremony is one of the most significant event in the modern chinese wedding ceremony, second only to fetching the bride. The bride and groom are formally introduced to each other's family through this ceremony.

Order of service
It will usually take place on the wedding day when most of the family members are present. If some members are not available, supplementary sessions can be conducted at the wedding dinner or at other convenient times and locations.

The order of service is usually

- parents,
- grandparents,
- grand-uncles and grand-aunties,
- uncles and aunties,
- elder brothers and sisters,
- elder cousins.

For some family, grandparents are served before parents. Within each generation, dad's relatives are served before mum's relatives.

To kneel or not to kneel
In very traditional family, the young couple is required to serve tea whilst kneeling down. Most modern family only requires them to bow while serving tea.

Do you use a special tea set?
A new tea set is included in the bride's dowry. It usually comprises of four tea cups and a tea pot without any milk jar and sugar pot. Popular designs include those with double joy, dragon and phoenix, or poeny flowers and gold trimmings.

This new tea set will be used for the groom's side tea ceremony. On the bride's side, the parent's tea set from their own wedding will be used if it is still available. Otherwise, a new tea set can be used.

What's in the tea?
Sweet tea boiled with dried longan, lotus seeds and red dates are used for the Tea ceremony. Red dates 红枣 (hongzao), longan 龙眼 (longyan), and lotus seeds 莲子 (lianzi), represents the family's wish for the couple to have sons soon after the wedding 早生贵子(zaoshengguizi). The sweetness symbolises harmony and sweetness in the couple's union.

Red packets money gifts or jewellery?
The tea ceremony gifts such as red packets or jewellery are presented on the serving plate after drinking the tea. Usually the relatives of the bride will present her with jewellery rather than red packets. This is referred to as “adding to her dowry” 添嫁妆.

When will you have the tea ceremony for the bride's side?
The tea ceremony for the bride’s side is usually carried out during the bride’s home visit. Sometimes the distance between the bride and groom’s home is too far apart for the bride’s home visit to be on the same day as the wedding day. In this case, the bride’s side tea ceremony may be conducted when the groom arrives to fetch the bride.

Jina Boo is the editor of http://www.chinese-wedding-guide.com, a website dedicated to preserving chinese wedding customs and culture. The website features:

- significance of chinese wedding custom and traditions,
- the items and persons needed to perform them, and
- suggested timeframe for preparation of chinese wedding.

A guide for drafting your own chinese wedding invitation is also included.

Click on http://www.chinese-wedding-guide.com/ezinearticles to visit the site to learn more about chinese weddings.

By Jina Boo

Chinese Wedding Custom 2 - Wedding Day

2007-05-08T17:21:00.001-07:00

The Wedding Day! 大喜日

Fetching the bride 迎亲
If the bride's family required a matchmaker 媒婆for the chinese wedding, she will accompany the groom to fetch the bride. The matchmaker, or Best man if there is no matchmaker, will carry a red tray containing a red packet with the bride’s price, a piece of raw pork front leg which is the mother's reward for bringing up the bride, even number of oranges, dried persimmons, longan, lotus seeds, and magnolia petals (pak hup).

The red tray will be returned with the oranges replaced in even numbers to signify that the newly joined families will share their good fortune. An even numbered portion of the bride’s price will be returned in the red packet. Even numbered cans of pork trotters or a red packet may be used instead of the raw pork leg.

Bride's younger brother to open the bridal car door 小舅开车门
The groom must not open the car door when he arrives to fetch his bride. The bride’s younger brother will pass him two oranges before opening the door. The two oranges will be left in the bridal car for good fortune. The groom will give this younger brother a red packet after he opens the car door. If the bride has no younger brother, a younger male relative or a younger male friend can play the role.

Kiss the bride! 亲亲新娘
The groom and the brothers’ troop will be served sweet desserts with pink rice ball and snacks at the bride’s home. The groom will enter the bride's room and lift her veil to kiss her. Taoist couple will pray to the bride's ancestors and family gods before leaving the bride's home.

Chinese Wedding Ceremony 过门/拜堂成亲
The chinese were mainly Taoists or ancestor worshipers before foreign religions such as Christianity, Muslim or Buddhism enter China. Taoists believed in the power of heaven and earth to witness important events on earth. It was also believed that a parent or family elder must acknowledge a union for it to be official.

In traditional chinese wedding ceremony the bride and groom will first pray to heaven and earth, then to the groom parents or family elders and lastly bow to each other 一拜天地，二拜高堂，夫妻交拜. The three prayers sealed the marriage. The couple was escorted into the bridal chamber, the equivalent of the bridal room, to consummate their marriage.

Modern chinese wedding skip the ritual of the three prayers. The bride and groom will enter the bridal room directly after entering the groom's home. Groom’s family members will hide in the house to avoid clashing of fortune with the new couple. After the family members have returned to the family hall, the couple will join them. The Taoist bride and groom will pray to the groom's ancestors and family gods at this time.

Wedding Tea Ceremony 敬茶
Without the traditional three prayers, the tea ceremony becomes the most significant event in the modern chinese wedding ceremony. The bride and groom are formally introduced to each other's family through this ceremony.

It will usually take place on the wedding day when most of the family members are present. If some members are not available, supplementary sessions can be conducted at the wedding dinner or at other convenient times and locations.

Sweet tea boiled with dried longan, lotus seeds and red dates are used for the Tea ceremony. The tea ceremony gifts such as red packets or jewellery are presented on the serving plate after drinking the tea.

Bride's home visit 三朝回门
Traditionally the bride’s home visit is three days after the chinese wedding ceremony. For efficiency, modern chinese wedding usually compressed all the necessary events into a single day.

After the tea ceremony at the groom's family home, the bride will change out of her western style wedding gown to symbolise passing of three days!

Bride's younger brother to escort the bride home 小舅伴新娘回门
The bride's younger brother will arrive at the groom's home with a wedding basket 油篮 filled with toiletries, perfumed oils and make-up for his sister. The bridal car will fetch the bride's younger brother to the groom's home. The groom will welcome the younger brother by opening the car door for him.

Gifts for the bride's home visit 回门礼
The bride’s home visit is the couple’s first visit to her parent’s home as a married couple. Other than the gifts for her parents, the couple gives red packets to all the elder members and children in the family.

In the past, many dialect groups required gifts of a pair of sugar cane, at least a pair of live rooster and hen. These带路鸡 “dai lu ji” were supposed to lead the way. The return gift of a rooster and hen will be put under the bridal bed back at the groom’s home. It was believed that the firstborn will be male if the rooster came out first.

To simplify matters most of these gifts are no longer required or are replaced by red packets for modern chinese weddings. Nowadays, only symbolic items are required. Tangerines or mandarin oranges 橘子”Juzi” sounds like good fortune 吉 “Ji” in chinese and must be included as part of the gifts. If tangerines are out of season, oranges can be used instead.

If one of the bride's parents is cantonese, the roast pig 烧猪is definitely required as part of the gifts for the bride’s home visit. For non-cantonese, sometimes roast pork 烧肉 instead of a whole roast pig is requested.

For teochew, two big red packets of their favorite traditional peanut and sesame candies豆条芝麻条 are usually requested. For hokkiens, combinations of popped rice blocks, or popped rice and sesame rolls, peanut chewy candies, bean paste cookies米方麻佬贡糖豆沙饼 are usually requested.

A portion of all gifts are returned to signify sharing of fortune between the two families.

During the bride's home visit, a sweet soup with lotus seeds, dried longan, dates and pink rice balls will be served to wish the couple a sweet harmonious marriage.

The modern chinese wedding ceremony is completed after the bride’s home visit. The wedding banquet may be on the same day or another day as it is just an announcement and celebration of the marriage.

The couple and the parents will give red packets to all the helpers at the wedding including beauticians, drivers, bestmen and bridesmaids, matchmaker, photographers, videographers, receptionists and ushers, etc.

Jina Boo is the editor of http://www.chinese-wedding-guide.com, a website dedicated to preserving chinese wedding customs and culture. The website features:
- significance of chinese wedding customs and traditions,
- the items and persons needed to perform them, and
- suggested timeframe for preparation of chinese wedding.

A guide for drafting your own chinese wedding invitation is also included.

Click on http://www.chinese-wedding-guide.com/ezinearticles to visit the site to learn more about chinese weddings.

By Jina Boo

Chinese Wedding - How to Prepare for a Chinese Wedding in 10 Easy Steps

2007-04-23T19:03:00.000-07:00

By Raymond Heng

1. Plan the activities (Recommend at least 6 months prior to the wedding date).

Always have your big day in mind and how you would like it to be. You will need to come up with a schedule of all the activities that are going to take place on your big day. From there you will need to decide how much time to give yourself to arrange for all those activities to take place on your big day. For a list of standard activities you can find them on any wedding planner websites. As I am Singaporean, a very useful site is at Singaporean brides.

2. Seek advice from married couples.

When you seek help from those who have been through the wedding day, they can really give you very valuable insight and help you save on time, cost and avoid trouble.

3. Plan your wedding budget.

This is the most tricky part of the preparation as you can burst your budget very easily if you do not keep a close tap or be very ambitious and want to throw a once in a life time grand million dollar wedding. It can strained your relationship with your fiancé if both of you have different ideas on the activities of your wedding. It is a good to be honest with your fiancé about your net worth and how much you can afford based on your take home income from the start. This way, expectations are managed and each of you will accommodate each other automatically even without you knowing.

4. Choose a wedding date.

For us Chinese, it will coincide with an auspicious day. We will visit a medium for them to assist us to pick an auspicious date according to the lunar calendar. This applies to any couple of any race and religion.

5. Determine wedding practices of both parties.

The two major factors that will directly affect the activities of your wedding day and the events that lead up to it, are the religion and dialect group of you and your spouse. Different practices and customs are observer by the Cantonese, Hokkien, Teochew etc. If the couple is of different dialect groups then both parties have to discuss and compromise and how far each side can practice their customary wedding rituals.

6. Decide on the location of the banquet.

You would have gone to many of the hotels or restaurants to feel the ambience and look at the wedding menu and package. Choose a location that is easily accessible by everyone, preferably a centralized location. This is important if your wedding falls on weekdays as your guest might have difficulty getting there on time if their offices are located far away from your wedding banquet.

7. Estimate the minimum number of tables for the banquet.

This is one of the tricky tasks which I have to grapple with. Before you can determine this number, you need to ask the hotel or restaurant that is holding your wedding banquet what is the minimum sitting requirement in-order to qualify for their package. All the hotels and restaurants will offer you a package ranging in prices and menu selection. Different charges apply for weekday and weekends. From there, you have to draw up a draft sitting plan and come up with names of your invited guests.

8. Draw up the seat arrangement.

The best thing I have learned from past weddings where I was an invited guest is to put people who know each other in the same table. When I had to sit alone in a table with people who I do not know, I felt awkward and hoped that time will pass quickly. For my wedding, I placed family in the same table and colleagues together in the same table. When it comes to shifting to fill up gaps, you have to shift people in groups. You sitting arrangement will not be finalized till very close to your wedding day. Expect people to pull out at the last moment and others not able to confirm their sittings. You have to get confirmation from your entire guest so that you can advise your hotel/restaurant the final number of tables. It is a lot of hard work and even frustration. It is easier said than done.

9. Choose the bridal shop.

It is better that someone whom you know recommends and refer you to a bridal shop as that person has personally engaged their services and is satisfied with good comments given. The recommender will advise you on what you can ask more for to stretch your wedding budget. You can also enjoy a special pricing with a better negotiated package when you are being referred. The referrer could enjoy a commission. It's a win-win situation. Unless you know the owner of the bridal shop would I advise to do it alone.

10. Stay healthy during the preparation.

Preparing for a wedding is a lot of hard work apart from juggling with your day job, family and personal obligations. There will be disappointments and last minute changes that will catch you by surprise. I have been in a position where I was overwhelmed with so many things to do and time is running out. In-order to handle the stress of your wedding preparation is to stay in shape and exercise regularly. Have sufficient sleep and start your activities early to avoid surprises.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Raymond Heng specializes in software development, software testing and software safety. He also writes articles on various topics of interest, especially the 10 steps series to solving certain problems and book reviews on favourite authors. To get instant access to all his articles, book reviews, strategies, tools, and resources that he uses in his daily life, visit: http://web.singnet.com.sg/~raindeer/. You can also visit his company "Express Learner" which brings you information and resources to help you in building your multiple streams of income to financial freedom

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Raymond_Heng

What is the Traditional Gift for a Chinese Wedding?

2007-04-23T19:01:00.000-07:00

By Chrystal Holman

When considering what is the traditional gift for a Chinese wedding there really are three different answers.

There is a formal Chinese giving of wedding gifts from the groom's family to the bride's family, which is referred to as the traditional Grand Gifts. There are also the Chinese gifts that the wedding guests present and give to the couple. Lastly, there are also the gifts, or wedding favors that the bride and groom give to their wedding guests.

The Grand Gifts are wedding gifts that the Chinese groom's family give to the bride's family after the terms of the marriage have been negotiated and a fortune teller has analyze the date and hour of the bride's birth with the date and hour of the groom's birth to determine if the bride's date and hour of birth are compatible with those of the groom.

Traditional Grand Gifts include the following items: Li Shi Money; jewelries; dragon-phoenix cakes; dried seafood and mushroom and Fat Cai; poultries; fish; coconut; wine or liquor; a Tie Box with dried fruits; raw fruit; Bin Lang; and tea.

The traditional wedding gifts are given over a period of several days and the purpose in the Chinese tradition is for these gifts to be used for ancestral worship.

The traditional Chinese wedding gifts that wedding guests give to the couple are not near as elaborate as the Grand Gifts. These gifts to the Chinese bride and groom customarily consist of gifts of cash, stuffed in red packets or envelopes.

The last type of gift in a traditional Chinese wedding is the wedding favors that the bride and groom give to the wedding guests.

These gifts are usually small items such as engraved silver fortune cookies, sake cups filled with lavender, porcelain tea cups, jasmine flowering tea in silk pouches, bridal coffee scoops, personalized plantable magic beans, candy bags, glass oil lamps, potpourri wedding bells bags, bridal candy flower pots, candy mint tins, and many more beautiful items that Chinese wedding guests can treasure.

Chrystal Holman recommends these Chinese wedding favors.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Chrystal_Holman

Chinese Wedding Customs 1 - Pre-wedding Day

2007-04-23T18:45:00.000-07:00

By Jina Boo

Selection of auspicious dates 看日子
Auspicious dates are required for the chinese wedding, the betrothal and installation of the bridal bed. A chinese monk, a temple official or a fortune teller are able to advice on a suitable date based on the couple’s birth dates and times. Some may also refer to the chinese calendar or almanac for good days. Usually, even numbered months and dates are preferred and the lunar seventh month is avoided as it is the month of the Hungry Ghost Festival.

After the selection of the auspicious dates, wedding details such as types and quantities of betrothal gifts, return gifts, bride’s price 娉金, and number of tables at the wedding banquet provided by the groom’s parents for the bride’s parents’ guest are agreed.

Betrothal 过大礼/纳彩
Up to a month and at least three days before the wedding day, the groom and a friend or a matchmaker will deliver the betrothal gifts on the auspicious date chosen.

Western and chinese wedding cakes, peanut candies, together with two bottles of brandy, at least six tins of canned pork legs and even number of oranges are included in the wedding gift baskets. Two pairs of dragon and phoenix candles 龙凤烛are also included. Also included is gold jewellery from the groom’s parents to the bride such as the cantonese’s dragon and phoenix bangle 龙凤琢 or the teochew’s four items of gold四点金.

Some include the bride’s price with the betrothal gifts whereas some will only present it when the groom fetches the bride.

In the return gifts, the 2 bottles of brandy will be replaced with 2 bottles of orange syrup. An even numbered portion of all the other gifts are returned to the groom’s family together with the 2 phoenix candles. The bride’s side will light the 2 dragon candles and the groom’s side the phoenix candles on the morning of the wedding day.

Some hokkien family will also request for a bunch of bananas and red dates to be included in the return gifts. A red packet for the groom’s parents to buy shoes is required. The bride will also present towels to the parents, grandparents, aunt, uncles and groom’s siblings.

After the betrothal, the chinese wedding invitations are distributed.

Deliver the bride's dowry 送嫁妆
The bride’s parents may include the bride's dowry with the return gifts on the day of betrothal or deliver the dowry a few days before the wedding. The chinese dowry typically include
- beddings such as pillows, bolsters, comforter set, blankets, bed sheets, etc., all tied with red ribbons;- new clothes in a suitcase for the bride (in the past, wardrobes or wooden wedding chests are used.);- tea set for the wedding tea ceremony;- baby bathtub, potty, face washbasin, tumblers, toothpaste and toothbrushes, mirror, comb;- two pairs of red wooden clogs wedding slippers or bedroom slippers;- sewing basket with even numbered rolls of colourful thread, needles, pincushion, scissors, and sewing wax with auspicious words on it;- gold jewellery given by bride’s parents.

Install the bridal bed 按床
A good fortune woman will install the bridal bed in the bridal room up to 12 days before the wedding day on an auspicious date. New red or pink bedsheets are used and a plate of dried longans, lotus seeds, red dates, persimmons, sprig of pomegranate leaves together with 2 red packets are placed on the bed. A pair of bedside lamps is lit to symbolize adding sons to the family.

Hair combing ceremony 梳头
Good fortune women will conduct this ceremony for the bride and groom in their respective homes the night before the chinese wedding. After showering with water infused with pomelo or pomegranate leaves, the bride and groom will change into a new set of clothing and shoes. The good fortune women will bless them aloud as they sit in front of an open window with a visible moon or in front of the mirror.

The four blessings are:
一梳梳到尾，(First combing, together all your lives)
二梳百年好合，(Second combing, harmony in your marriage)
三梳子孙满堂，(Third combing, blessed with many children and grandchildren)
四梳白发齐眉。(Fourth combing, blessed with longevity.)

Sweet pink rice ball soup汤圆 will be served after the hair combing ceremony to wish the couple a complete and sweet marriage.

Chinese wedding decorations 大喜装饰
Double joy 双喜stickers will be placed on all wedding items such as the betrothal gifts, dowry, the couple’s toiletries and cosmetics. The bridal room furniture, especially the mirror and cupboards will also be decorated with the double joy or other wedding paper cutouts such as pairs of mandarin ducks, dragon and phoenix, etc. Such red wedding paper cutouts will also be put up on the main door, bridal room door and generally around the house.

A red banner 红彩帘 will be hung across the front doors of the two household to announce the joyous event.

Jina Boo is the editor of http://www.chinese-wedding-guide.com, a website dedicated to preserving chinese wedding customs and culture. The website features:

- significance of chinese wedding custom and traditions, - the items and persons needed to perform them, and - suggested timeframe for preparation of chinese wedding.

A guide for drafting your own chinese wedding invitation is also included.
Click on http://www.chinese-wedding-guide.com/ezinearticles to visit the site to learn more about chinese weddings.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jina_Boo